Radio Control: Aerobatics
Ron Van Putte
111 Sleepy Oaks Road, Ft. Walton Beach, FL 32548
This is the January 1994 issue, but it sure doesn't feel like it. It's just before Labor Day weekend as this is being written. You should be reading it around the first of December. I always miss wishing everyone Merry Christmas, because I never think about Christmas in early September. Not this year! For some reason, the idea popped into my head. So, to everyone out there: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
For years, the AMA staff used to send me big bundles of RC-related club newsletters. For some reason, they stopped doing it a few years ago. That's too bad, because I got a lot of good ideas from reading all those newsletters.
All is not lost, because a few editors send their newsletters directly to me, and I read every one. It's amazing how similar and how different newsletters can be. Virtually all have the minutes of the last club meeting and a president's column. Many contain a lament from the newsletter editor that nobody gives him (or her) anything to include in the newsletter.
Some (actually darned few) contain contributions from club members on how to (you fill in the subject). Once in a great while there is a real gem. Even less frequently, there is a real gem about competition flying.
Newsletters and a Gem from the Bay City Flyer
The Bay City Flyer (Tampa, Florida) is edited by Ian Renton, who is also the club treasurer. The July 1993 issue contained, as expected, the minutes of the last club meeting and a column by the president, but it also had a wonderful article by Duane Gall (I'm not really sure if that's his real name or a pseudonym) entitled "Voodoo Magic Secret Trick Stuff—A Competition Pilot Finally Comes Clean." What follows is a condensed version of the article, which I hope will capture its essence. If you want a reprint of the entire article, write to Ian Renton, P.O. Box 262982, Tampa, FL 33615 (send a SASE too). Here's Duane:
"Voodoo Magic Secret Trick Stuff" (condensed)
Fellow RC pilots, I have a confession to make. Frequently, after landing on my racers or a Pattern or Scale job, I am told, "Gee, Mr. Competition Pilot, you are truly godlike. Your planes are so fast and impressive, it must require totally superhuman skill and reflexes to fly them. Surely no mere mortal such as myself could ever hope to attain the very pinnacle of RC perfection as you obviously have done."
Until now, I have always denied such claims, and have sometimes even offered to let others try flying my toys to see for themselves how simple it really is. They always refuse.
Well, fellow pilots, I have had enough of denial. I am now prepared to reveal the true facts of RC competition flying, which many of you have suspected for a long time. In doing so, I break the sacred vow of secrecy to which all competition pilots are sworn, and I will have to commit hara-kiri with a Graupner 11 x 9 fiberglass propeller. But it will be better than going on as I have been, living a lie.
- Fact One: Competition flying is not fun.
Competition pilots don't enjoy flying for its own sake. All we care about is winning. Our smiles conceal the dark truth—we are mere slaves to the all-too-fleeting "high" that comes with crushing and defeating others to claim the winner's share.
- Fact Two: The planes are hideously difficult to fly.
Don't listen to anyone who flies them—just watch. They're fast. That means they are hard to fly. Ever wonder why competition pilots won't let you look at their thumbs while they're flying? It's because their thumbs are moving the sticks so fast just to maintain control of the airplane that all you could see would be a blur. It would freak you out.
- Fact Three: You can't learn competition flying; you have to be born to it.
No competition pilot was ever a beginner. Through a combination of modern genetic engineering and ancient occult rituals, today's competitors have been specially bred, selected and trained since infancy by the high priests of the AMA. Any attempt by a normal person to enter this circle of Chosen Ones is utterly futile. (See Facts Four and Five below.)
- Fact Four: Practice does no good.
Because superior pilots are born, not made, you can't hope to improve your flying through practice and self-discipline. If you repeatedly botch your landing approaches, or if your axial rolls always corkscrew into the parking lot, don't bother trying to figure out what you're doing wrong. Just shrug and admit you don't have the "talent" to fly any better. Or blame the airplane. Either way, it's not your fault.
- Fact Five: All contests are fixed.
Ever notice how, in all the full-color coverage of the big contests—especially the Nationals—you never see your picture? That has nothing to do with the fact that you never attend. The real reason is that all those so-called contests are just prearranged media circuses, like professional wrestling. Practice, preparation and persistence have nothing to do with it. If you went to one of those contests, you wouldn't have a chance, so don't even think about it. In fact, no real contests are ever held—those pages and pages of listings in the back of the magazine are just window dressing, designed to lend credibility to that tiny, self-perpetuating cartel of AMA executives and their cronies whose true purpose is merely to distribute donated prizes and merchandise to themselves.
There, I've said it. Nifty planes, smooth maneuvers, and contest trophies are completely out of your reach. You'll never be any better a pilot than you are right now. Don't even try to compete, or improve—it's hopeless.
"Isn't that what you wanted to hear?"
Thanks, Duane. You have a devilishly mean streak. However, it is true that, if I had a nickel for every time I heard noncompetitors mouth at least one of the five facts, I could retire today.
Servo Tester — A Long-Lived Tool
Back in 1976, one of the many newsletters I received was the Ohming Pigeon (newsletter of the Bucks County R/C Club, Doylestown, Pennsylvania). One issue contained a reprint of a short article and schematic for a servo tester. The tester had been developed by Hugh Shoemaker, and was originally printed in the February 1976 issue of the DCRC Newsletter (newsletter of the District of Columbia R/C Club, Washington, D.C.). I built one, and it worked great. I put a picture of mine in the column and offered to send people a copy of the article and schematic if they sent me a SASE. The tester has gotten more response from readers than anything in my column. I have mailed out hundreds of copies of that article.
Several years later, I made the same offer, and received another flood of requests. The last time I mentioned the servo tester was in the March 1988 column. Well, I just got a request last week for a copy of the servo tester schematic which resulted from that last mention!
My original servo tester still works fine. It has Futaba J-style connectors on it, replacing the original Kraft ones, but otherwise it is the same as when I made it 16 years ago. I plan to put some nickel-cadmium batteries inside the box to make it more portable, because the exterior battery is a bit cumbersome. I use it on my workbench to check out servos (imagine that!), when I'm installing radio gear in a new airplane, and at the field to drop my landing gear if the frequency pin is in use. It has been a very useful tool over the years.
So, what's the point of mentioning the servo tester? I checked parts availability at the local surplus stores and they are still around and cheap. If you have a hankering to build a very functional piece of R/C equipment, I'd be glad to share copies of the article and schematic with you if you send a SASE.
Best Airplane for the Beginning Pattern Flier
The vote is still out on the best airplane for the beginning Pattern flier. As long as I continue to receive letters on the subject, I'll hold off on the final vote. However, early returns have the Ultra Sport (40 or 60) in the lead, followed by the Kaos and Dirty Birdy. Most of the letter-writers emphasized the importance of a simple design which does not require a lot of maintenance. It was also emphasized that understanding the rules and getting plenty of practice are at least as important to Pattern success as the airplane.
Some writers have volunteered their candidates for the next airplane. Solidly in the lead is the Escape; however, the opinions are more varied. I was surprised about the Escape, but people explained that it is a relatively inexpensive, no-nonsense design which is an honest Pattern performer. However, nobody claimed that it is beautiful. It's got to be one of the ugliest Pattern airplanes around.
A Letter About Novice Pattern Events and Rule Books
The last item is about a letter I received. It brings up a problem I never thought about. The writer asked to be anonymous, so I'll respect his wishes. Here's an excerpt from his letter:
"Some time ago in one of your columns you wondered why more people weren't flying Novice Pattern events. At that time I had never even attended a Novice Pattern event, so I had no opinion. I have flown RC for about 2-1/2 years and can do a reasonable facsimile of the maneuvers required for the Novice event, so I recently entered a Novice event when one was nearby. My first problem came when I couldn't find out how to get a rule book. There is no mention of it in the AMA catalogue, AMA literature or in the AMA magazine. I ended up calling the Contest Director of the event, who was very helpful in telling me (he read me the rule book) what was expected. I wrote it down and practiced it a couple of times before the event. Problem: There is no obvious way for a Novice to know a rule book exists, and if one does, how to get it. This is easy to fix."
I thought to myself, "This guy can't be right. Surely there is a notice in the Focus on Competition section of Model Aviation which tells people how to get a rule book." Well, he's right. I couldn't find the information anywhere in the whole magazine. And he's also right about it being easy to fix. I'm going to write to AMA's new Executive Director and suggest that we make information on how to get a rule book more readily available.
In the meantime, perhaps we can be helpful to potential Pattern fliers by telling them the how, where and how much about rule books:
Write to AMA Headquarters, 5151 Memorial Drive, Muncie, IN 47302, and include $2.50.
Editor's Note
Page 21 of the 1993 Supply and Service Catalog lists item #3145, Competition Regulations. Price is $2.50, plus $2.50 for shipping and handling.
Executive Director's Note
Better yet, for a 1994–95 Competition Regulations, read the note on your new license card carrier! Return the carrier to Headquarters (it contains your name, address, and AMA number) and we'll send you one free copy of the new book. For additional copies, see the Editor's Note.
Transcribed from original scans by AI. Minor OCR errors may remain.
